Family Altar

I know it sounds very "christianese" to talk about having a family worship time. Most of us just nod our heads in assent when asked if we are having family worship, too afraid to admit we don't see how it works or even why it might be necessary. After all, don't we sit in church for hours on Sunday morning and maybe even Wednesday evenings listening to the word of God? Aren't our children hearing all the Bible stories during Sunday school hours? We don't want to bore them do we? And besides that, who has an extra hour in their day to read from the Bible aloud while our children wiggle around or complain. Honestly, we are all  too tired, and it can be too much of a struggle to get your children to listen quietly without the television being involved. Well, I am here to tell you it can be done, and it should be done.

First of all it is commanded in Scripture. It is the father's role to teach the scriptures to their children and to wash their wives with the reading of the word. Check out Deut. 6 and Eph 5:26. That settles the why, now for the how. Let me tell you a little secret, it doesn't have to be dry or boring, and your kids don't have to sit still the entire time either.

Our family worship times have looked different depending on the different seasons of our family's life. When the kids were little we would let them sit on the floor or at the table with coloring books and crayons while Dad read from the Bible and asked age appropriate questions. We gave lots of praise for the kind of behavior we wanted and not too much attention to the negative. We wanted this to be something they wanted to participate in not something they were forced to endure. As they grew we centered family worship around dessert time. I would serve dessert and John would read. There were many times when we shared reading responsibilities. Our first graders especially liked when they could be trusted with the reading of the word.we have read through the entire Bible together as a family. We have read through many books besides the Bible during our family worship too. Once we had more adult children (I know that is an oxymoron but I can't think of a better term). John found it encouraging to read John Piper aloud together and discuss it, also C.S. Lewis and Randy Alcorn to name a few. By that time our children were feasting on the word daily for themselves and our family worship time became more about refining their worldview. My point is this. Family worship time is about your family doing things that strengthen them in the word. It can look however you want it to and be whenever you want it to be.

My caution is this, wives your role in this is one of support not domination. We can so easily squelch a man's desire to lead his family with one negative word or nagging. How sad for us that we emasculate our husbands in order to see things done right or done our way.  I learned this lesson the hard way when I was a young wife. It is amazing how one critical word can keep our husbands from even attempting to lead. Your children will learn just as much from watching you respect your husband (or disrespect as the case may be) than they will from what they hear read to them, especially when they are young. Give your husband the freedom to lead and sit back and enjoy the process. It doesn't have to be perfect or the way someone else is doing it, it should be done though.

Sow worship time into your family's life and reap a closeness that will stay with your family through the ages.

Creating a Purpose Statement.

I read a book when I was a young mother called "Manager's of Their Homes". I liked that. Manger of my home sounded so much better than stay at home mom. Aside from the title though, I realized that the author was right. A great many of the strengths a manager employs in the work world I now use at home. From that book and others, I have learned to manage and make the most of my days and not let the day primarily dictate to me.



Several years back John and I decided to take this concept one step further. We decided to write a purpose statement for our family. We had always believed in giving our children individual purpose, casting vision and being purposeful in our parenting, but we had never written an actual purpose statement. By this time our children were older so we got them all involved in the process. It took a few rewrites, but we finally came up with something on which we could all agree. Obvious benefits were derived right away from having a written purpose statement for our family.


The first benefit was that it gave us a common bond. We want to do whatever we can to strengthen the family unit. We had vision and a common goal in writing. We were all walking together toward our purpose. It strengthened the integrity of our family. Not to mention that it was fun just brainstorming and listening to their hearts during the process.

The second benefit is that it helped us to say no to "good" things. That may sound strange, but as a Christian family we get asked to do many"good" things: be in the choir, serve on the nursery committee, teach Sunday School etc. You get the picture. I said yes to way more things than I should have always feeling guilty for even wanting to decline. Now, I just refer to our purpose statement, and if it doesn't further it, I feel right in saying no so that I can say yes to the things that do line up with our purpose statement.

Finally, it helped me in the training of my children. When my children sometimes lost their focus, I could point back to our purpose statement and help them see why we do the things we do. Ultimately, I like to use scripture for this purpose but having the purpose statement helps me with those "others can but we can not times."

I would encourage you to think about making a purpose statement for your family no matter what stage of the journey you are in. It is never to early, or late, to have a purpose.

I was asked to put our family's purpose statement on here.

Bushnell Family Purpose Statement

The purpose of our family is to live our lives in such a way that we would inspire others to catch a vision of a God centered faith that is passed down from generation to generation. To challenge fathers and mothers to capture the hearts of their children and to turn the hearts of the children towards their parents through purposeful interaction within the family and by encouraging families to be involved in missions both at home and abroad.